Where Are You When We Need You, Fozzy Bear?

A couple of days ago, I was watching Home Improvement on TV Land for the first time in many years. Naturally it was one of the many Christmas episodes where Tim is trying to win the neighborhood lighting contests and finds funny ways to decorate his house but always loses to the proctologist that lives across the street. I sat there and watched this and started to miss the days when the great ABC primetime shows had their Christmas specials. Pretty much all them had at least one episode where little Timmy stops believing in Santa and at the end, Santa shows up to visit but the whole family believes its like Uncle Bob or somebody pretending to be Santa but the kid doesn't know it. Then after Santa leaves, Uncle Bob enters the room and the family's like "If you're here, then who was that?" and the final scene is little Timmy looking out the window as Santa leaves and then we all feel good about ourselves. I believe I even remember Santa coming to visit Carl Winslow and pretending to be homeless, all so he can restore Carl's Christmas spirit. Those were the days......

And the movies! Man do I miss the sweet Christmas movies of old. Great ones like the classic, A Christmas Story. I mean, it's so good, TBS plays it for 24 hours every Christmas and you better believe my TV never leaves TBS on Christmas day! Or how about A Charlie Brown Christmas, I remember when I couldn't go a day without hearing that creepy choir of kids singing Christmas songs! What about when the Griswolds celebrated Christmas?! How about when that wacky Tim Allen turned into Santa Claus? And how can we forget the endless plethora of Muppet Christmas Movies. My family was always a big on Muppet movies so you bet that we just about them all. Muppet Family Christmas (You had the Sesame Street gang, the Muppets, and the Fraggles all putting aside their differences to make a sweet movie), A Muppet Christmas Carol, Emmet Otter's Jug Band Christmas (life-changing movie), and The Christmas Toy (Basically Toy Story but with puppets......and just a bit creepier) were what kept me entertained as tiny Adam Davis. And of course, who could forget the timeless classic that has been dubbed as our generation's It's A Wonderful Life. That's right my friends, you know very well what I'm talking about. I'm talking about when that lovable Ernest rescued Santa and Christmas from certain doom in the timeless classic, Ernest Saves Christmas. I mean, what else could possibly top that movie?! Few Christmas movies are as inspiring as Ernest (alright, I'll give you The Nativity Story but that's it).

What happened to our Christmas entertainment? It seemed like every Christmas there was a sweet movie to watch or special that was on. Sure, there's some exceptions now but it's nothing like it used to be. I mean, now you have Christmas movies involving Billy Bob Thorton getting drunk and doing lewd things and quite frankly, that doesn't quite put me in the Christmas spirit. I used to love the last TGIF before Christmas because you knew you were getting some sweet Christmas specials that were certain to warm your heart. We don't really have those warm specials anymore. Some shows have some funny (and accurate) Christmas episodes portraying office Christmas parties like The Office but it's nothing meant to fill you with Christmas cheer. I mean, where are the cheesy animated TV Christmas specials brought to you by McDonald's or Coca-Cola?! Where the heck are the Muppets during the Christmas season?! Have the political correctness police have them all in hiding and the only Christmas movies we have have to be rated R or have to have some sort of Romantic-Comedy twist to it?! You tell me.

Oh, how I hope those days return....